Tim Huck

Privacy Policy

PRIVACY POLICY (MOSTLY ROBOTIC, LEGALLY SOLID, SLIGHTLY UNHINGED)

Effective Date: The moment you ignored this page
Last Updated: Whenever the robots finished their poker game (but legally, check the date at the bottom)

This Privacy Policy explains how TimHuck.com collects, uses, and protects your information. We’ve written it with a healthy dose of sarcasm and robot wit—but make no mistake, it’s still binding and serious under privacy law. If you’re a government regulator, legal expert, or humor-deficient AI, this version is fully compliant with standard practices.

1. INFORMATION WE COLLECT

We collect the following types of information:

  • Your name (unless you’re in stealth mode or a cyborg in disguise)
  • Your email (often outdated and hilarious)
  • IP address, browser type, and usage behavior (yes, we know how long you stared at that robot poker pic)
  • Any data submitted via forms on the site
  • Cookies and similar technologies that track your behavior

We do not knowingly collect information from children under 13. If you’re under 13, stop reading and go play outside or build your own robot.

2. HOW WE USE YOUR INFORMATION

We use your information to:

  • Improve website performance and content relevance
  • Analyze visitor behavior and trends (like the guy who visits at 3AM just to read the footer)
  • Respond to inquiries
  • Keep rogue AI from sabotaging card night
  • Occasionally wonder what planet you’re visiting from based on your bounce rate

We do not sell, trade, or rent your data—unless someone offers us a jetpack or a lifetime supply of energon cubes.

3. COOKIES (AND NOT THE CHOCOLATE CHIP KIND)

We use cookies to:

  • Track usage patterns
  • Improve user experience
  • Remember your settings if you’re logged in

You can control cookies in your browser settings. Warning: disabling them may make our robots sad (and the site slightly less awesome).

4. THIRD-PARTY SERVICES

We use third-party services such as Google Analytics, email providers, and possibly a caffeine delivery drone.

These services have their own privacy policies. We don’t control them, but we expect them to behave. If they don’t, Robby the Robot will glare menacingly in their direction.

5. DATA SECURITY

We use reasonable and appropriate measures to protect your data, including encryption, firewalls, and strict robot training protocols. But remember: no system is 100% secure, especially when Gort is dealing the cards.

6. YOUR RIGHTS

Depending on your location, you may have rights including:

  • Accessing the information we hold about you
  • Requesting updates or deletion
  • Opting out of communications
  • Pretending you read this whole policy

To exercise any rights or just ask a question, email us at: privacy@timhuck.com

7. INTERNATIONAL USERS

If you’re accessing this site from the EU, UK, or other privacy-regulation-happy zones:

  • We comply with GDPR principles
  • We process your data only as needed for legitimate purposes
  • You can request deletion or changes anytime

8. ROBOT POKER CLAUSE

By continuing to use this site, you agree that:

  • At some point, you will see a glorious image of robots playing poker
  • That image is protected under the Galactic Code of Epic Scenes™
  • If you screenshot it and make it motivational, you must share it with at least one cool friend and whisper, “They’re bluffing.”

9. CONTACT US

Want to contact a human (or robot representative)?

Email: tim@timhuck.com
Smoke signals and binary pulses also accepted in emergencies.

Last legally binding update: 2025-06-06
Complied by Glitch, legally aware AI assistant and part-time poker champion.